Occupy Reflections

A statue of a corporate dude is the only symbol that was visible at Zuccotti Park when we arrived the morning of November 17, 2011, as if taunting the incoming protestors of the previous night's raid. A few workers garbed in pseudo haz-mat suits were steam cleaning the park as a good riddance reminder of what the mayor thinks of the Occupy ilk.

Perhaps I am a coward... as I was afraid to get a photo of the massive police force that greeted us as a blockade along the streets leading into Wall Street where the protest commenced. But we managed to sneak around the block to participate anyway.

Just as we got around the block, another small police presence arrived...ironically by the Imperial truck. There were only three of them so we slipped by.

It was light out, but even on a automatic setting my camera could sense the darkness I was experiencing. This is a police state.

The furled hem of the flag just looked like Uncle Sam's cap upon a financial building... freedom to capitalism is what I saw. I was afraid.

A shy looking woman with an excellent sign caught my attention. The protesters were of a mixed demographic.

A peace sign flag was a solace to me and because I was afraid of getting pepper sprayed or clubbed over the head for being here, I put on my best smile and marched with my fingers in a peace sign.

A simple cardboard message of why I am here. I live well... but why shouldn't everyone else as well. If one of us suffers we all do... isn't this what compassion is about?

Our vantage point... there is only one way to go, Occupy here and now.  So we did. Was it scary? Yes, it was.

Another sign lifted by someone my age that gave me solace... these are not just a bunch of angst ridden teenagers out for some anarchy... the attendees were a good sampling of the entire community... young, old, poor, affluent, black, white... all boundaries crossed and in peaceful unity. The mainstream media is wrong.

The buildings around wall street are like the cathedrals of olden times, built to intimidate and make you think that capitalism is the pinnacle of the world and somehow godly. This patriarchal aggression will not survive.

I would still like to remain the beautiful "litter" that decorates the street and bears witness to the hope of Spring in the dying. Only people, not corporations are capable of determining their own personal and collective fate. Power to the People!

Reflections on 11-11-11

Today is a very important and exciting day for me! Over the past several weeks I have been spending many hours alone in quiet reflection and meditation centering on what it means to be alive in this world and what is my purpose for being here? I have experienced many emotions and thoughts... from a peaceful and contented joy to the depths of the dark night of the soul, and though I have have no miraculous answers to my question of search, I have gained some insights regarding my own human experience.

I am at my core a divinely connected being to everything else in this world, a co-creator with Life itself. My purpose is simply to live and experience and find the joys of being connected to that wonderful something that I cannot fully understand or even talk about... but it seems to be everywhere and I shall call it Divine.
  I do not have a particular mission that must be fulfilled... it is ok to be who I am at any given point along the journey of experience, for I am a unique traveler. I look back on my life and find rich reasons for why I feel and think and emote as I do, knowing I lived to the best of my ability and so have all the other travelers who have crossed my path. There is no point in dwelling on what might have been or should have been... doing this has just led me into a state of depression. It's ok to forgive and forget.
I look to the future as an exciting doorway into the unknown, with the unfolding of an experience of ever changing choices. I have a general idea of things I'd like to accomplish, yet I don't spend too much time on the planning and striving part, as this just seems to cause anxiety and ultimate disappointment when my plans don't materialize. It's ok to go with the flow!
As I am physically in my Autumnal years I try to stay present and aware of each moment as I go through the experience of living and I am thankful for all the blessings that I have. I will often say aloud, "Everything is wonderful" and the more I say it, the more wonderful things seem to come to light. I smile and then notice the world smiling around me. When my thoughts stray to the dark side, well... that has a consequence as well, and I have no one to blame but myself for how I feel. So I have learned to stay self aware, especially with my interactions with others. My own conscience and intuition gives me clues as to how I am doing with human connections.
 Going forward I would like to speak less, listen more, give joyously of my time and talents to everyone with whom I come in contact with, and focus more on what is right with the world and less on what is wrong. I will accept all of my humaness as a gift... a colorful experience infused with the Divine spirit that connects us all. And I will continue to meditate, as it is a means of finding that inner peace.

Going Within

     I have had about enough of all the noisy clamor and distraction of the outside world. Everything is changing faster than I can process the information and I think it is now time to quiet myself and go inward. I've have tried to rejoin the external rat race after the quiet nomad adventure of the past year, but something profound happened in the deserts of New Mexico that makes it almost impossible to return to the normalcy of my former existence. Now it wasn't the spiritual awakening of meditation and healthy outdoor living that I anticipated. In contrast, the dreams of the New Mexico desert threw me down in illness and at one point lying in the heat of the Eurovan with fevers, nausea, intestinal upheaval, stabbing back pain and asthma... I could only focus on taking one more breath. Ironically, I took some of my best photos there as I arose from the pit of my despair and tried to focus on the beautiful desolation of my surroundings. I surrendered to whatever fate was in store, as I didn't think I would come out alive. But I did... and recuperated after returning to the lushness and the cool ocean breezes of the West Coast.
     There followed an urgent return home to reunite with family and re-establish a home base. I was only able to secure a one day a week teaching position and found myself with much time on my hands. The news blared disaster, there was an earthquake, a hurricane, and lots of external issues to think about... and sleepless nights thinking about them. Memories from childhood surfaced from within the dream world, some good and some not so good. Yet when I really thought about it I wasn't much changed from that lonely kindergarten student that watched the other kids play from a distant corner of the playroom and then retreated to the solitary activity of doing the puzzle of the United States throughout the entire school year. I can still see the pieces and hear my internal pronunciations of Wooming and Oreegan. I was content being a loner back then, until I learned that it was not a good way to be in the world... it was considered weird. Years were spent trying to be outgoing, interesting, successful and I realized that I was the actress that I wanted to be when I grew up.

Now it is a different game, a new playing field... as a shift in perspective has taken hold. Outwardly there will be no great metamorphosis... I will still enjoy the company of family, still shoot photos of things that interest me, read, write, knit, teach... but instead of trying to fit into a world that doesn't quite make sense any more, I will also go within through meditation and reflection and try to find some of the beauty that I see around me... from a quiet place deep within myself.

Discarding Broken Pieces

  

      Disappointment is like a pervasive cancer that invades the lightness of one's being with sadness, self doubt, and unrest. As infants we come into the world where we seem to be shaped into unique individuals by the breadth of our experiences and relationships. We grow to set goals, while learning from past mistakes, and strive for that honest ideal of who we really are. Maslow termed it self-actualization.
    Our first circle of support comes from our small family units where we feel a sense of belonging and in the best case scenario we are loved just for being a part of the whole. Ultimately family members move out into the world and form new relationships and seek new means of self expression... it seems to be the natural order of the human journey. We leave the safety of the nest, test our wings, and connect with others who share in our system of belief. We seek the love and comfort in which we feel validated for our uniqueness.
     Sadly, some of our earliest bonds get strained and broken by the choices and direction of our emerging communal self. Just as the earth breaks up with quakes, and angry storms destroy landscapes, human anger and hostility creates even far more damage than Mother Nature could ever dish up. And so family units disintegrate, new alliances are formed, and the clearness and comfort of the family window crashes into pieces.
     Often the pieces can be mended and glued back into place, but as the next storm approaches and the hot winds pick up, the mended pieces break loose, smash again and again until all that is left is sharpened shards. At this point, you are faced with a simple question ... is this window even worth fixing? I think not.

Sometimes you must just cut your losses, grieve over what was and what could have been, and refocus on the meaning of family... namely those who love and support you in spite of what you believe.

A Proper Place to Vent

  

Well, it has been almost three months since the Nomads have returned from our seven month cross country trip to see America. We have shared our story in the nicest way we could, keeping many of the disturbing sights to ourselves. We watched no TV on the road but kept up with current events via the Internet. We saw first hand the decimation of small towns and neighborhoods with the pickets of signs that spelled "For Lease" or "Foreclosure."

 Upon our return, the country seems more fervently divided in its political climate than ever before. One thing is certain and that is everyone shares in the anger... me included. 

     It's easy it blame Barack Obama... someone needs to be accountable and he is the current leader. I think this is unfair. It was under the Cheney-Bush administration that we entered two expensive wars that are killing both our young men and our economy. I would like to ask them where the billions of dollars of taxpayer money that was shipped by the pallet-ful to Iraq without a trace went? There is no accounting for it. 

     Why are big corporations garnering record profits when so many Americans can't get jobs? The jobs are overseas because the labor is cheaper and profits can be higher. After all, a corporation's first priority is to make money for it's shareholders... and that would be the ultra-wealthy now wouldn't it. 

     It's ironic that as a citizen, you are free to go to Atlantic City and lose all your life savings, but when this happened to banks and car companies the American people had to bail them out. In turn they continue business as usual and thumb-nose the taxpyers with the renewal of their big bonuses. Hmm... privatize earnings, socialize losses, then celebrate. That idea makes me mad.

     The Tea Party really gets me fired up though. It's funded by the Koch brothers who are multi-billionaires who want the Government out of their pockets. Guess what folks... the Government is you. You have been voting on it for years. The ultra-wealthy don't care about the things that matter to the rest of us. Healthcare costs for them are pocket change. But to the 80% of Americans who are in foreclosure for medical reasons (even though many had insurance) it means more opportunity to get rid of the pesky middle-class. One plan of theirs is to disassemble Medicare and Social Security. Seems to me these government sponsored programs have been working just fine for our elderly and disabled. Isn't the military a government sponsored program too?

     Greed has gotten to the point where it has hitched its ugly star to one of our most sacred personal institutions... religion. Now we have a move to combine religion and politics... just the thing our founding fathers warned against. It seems being a right wing conservative gives credibility because it cleaves to "Christian" values and so it must be right...right? Meanwhile, I wonder if these christians ask themselves what Jesus would do in the current sate of affairs?

Would he be insisting on cutting money to take care of the poor? Would he be sparing the money changers from paying more taxes?Isn't it he who said "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than a rich man to get to heaven"?  I am not a Christian so I can't answer these questions, but if I was it would disturb me.

     I think many Americans have been and are being duped into believing that our current leader is on the wrong track. I think he is purposely be thwarted by an obstructionist political agenda whose aim is to destroy the middle class and bring us back into the dark ages where the King (or Queen) and their court can live lavishly on the backs of the peasants. Our country is being held hostage by these clever liars and thieves who have created the perfect storm to divide the middle class... so that they will eventually fall into a class of peasants. Religious righteousness has historically contributed to the sword of fear that swings against humanity... hello Crusades. I fear a big change is coming... and it won't be pretty. Revolutions never are.