Monday, January 21, 2013

A Sun Dog of Hope

It was early in January, cold, crisp, and breezy as I walked to the park with my granddaughter for some fresh air and playtime. We talked about the River Birch and Pine Trees that dotted our path. We listened for bird sounds that we recognize, like cardinals and crows. She found two large twigs on the ground and we decided to go "fishing" from the little bridge that lies upon the path to the park. We use our imaginations and in this shared experience I can teach my three year old granddaughter spiritual principles as we connect with Nature. After we had our fun swinging on swings, and sliding down the "slidey boards" while holding hands, we headed back home. It was then that we saw this "sundog," otherwise known as a parhelion. Scientifically, it is ice-crystals in the atmosphere that are illuminated by the sun when the angle (22 degrees, some sites say) is right. To me it is a wonderful beacon of hope, seen when I was fully present in the now, enjoying myself immensely with my wonderful granddaughter. When I told her what it was, she sighed, and exclaimed, "Ohhh... a dog rainbow." I simply told her that it was a special sight and means good things are coming. She smiled and held my hand. "I know," is all she said.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

On Your Own

Here it is, the eve of the ascension or the apocalypse or whatever your dualistic view is, and suddenly you find yourself all alone on the playing field. No more words from the sages, ETs, or conspirators... all the hype has calmed down and we are back to dealing with our own existential angst. A little star twinkles brightly upon an early morning cloud, illuminated by the glow of a sleepy sun that that has yet one more day to lollygag until it gradually has to start rising earlier by a minute or two as it has always done.
Maybe tomorrow it won't rise at all, or it will be joined by another sun, or a purple sun... who knows, the possibilities are endless.

I'm betting that it will be another day, more wonderful than yesterday, as the possibilities still remain unknown and endless.

Regardless of how you might view the Solstice, the winking of that little star still gives me a smile... that something will be shining that I wouldn't want to miss.

Happy Solstice and a Wonderful Wherever you find yourself! Much love and light to warm your heart! Bright blessings!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Lone Bird

Over the past several months, I have read so much information related to how the world really works via Internet that it is enough to make my head swim. I have turned off the TV, especially the news channels who barrage the airwaves with annoying commercials and report about crimes and politics that are of no interest to me whatsoever. The message in all of this seems to be that the world is not safe, so get to the department stores and car dealerships, then hurry home and take your pharmaceuticals and watch our shows and you will lead a satisfying life. I haven't fallen for that propaganda and have gradually lost all respect for the media ( in fact in 1993 I a made an outrageous statement that the American media was one of the great evils in the world and was shocked by my own words). I am no longer shocked by any thing these days. Our food and water is being poisoned, the banks are robbing people blind, our political system is completely broken, and our freedoms are becoming extinct by the day. An intuit such as myself could feel hopeless under these circumstances, but the optimist in me continues to BELIEVE. Not in the usual religious sense, as it seems clear that organized religion is in cahoots with the current powers that be. Our planet and even our moon has been under attack and yet I do not feel powerless to stop this ongoing assault on humanity and our Mother. I have a plan that works for me and I believe that my actions are as important as the proverbial butterfly's wings that can cause a typhoon miles and miles away. I will share some of the underground knowledge that is surfacing in this new age of truth, and I have taken steps, albeit, baby steps to do my part in the matters in which I still have control. I will share some of these to anyone who cares to effect their own small changes.

 I use baking soda to brush my teeth... not fluoridated toothpaste. I also use a carbon filter on my tap water and wait for the day that I can afford a reverse osmosis filter system.

No more brand name brand products that claim to be natural, if it isn't organic I don't believe the label.

If an American company sends me merchandise and the item has a Made in China label, I will not buy their products again and will email to tell them so.

I send petitions to our legislators weekly showing my unhappiness with their bill choices, and it only takes a little research and a mouse-click to do this.

I research the origin of every product that I intend to buy and if it comes from a big agribusiness, pharmaceutical, or chemical company... I won't buy it.

I no longer watch any TV except for Jeopardy and an occasional movie.

I switched from a Big Bank to a small credit union and got rid of all debt and credit cards.

I know it takes time and effort, but since I haven't had a full-time job in three years, I have plenty of time to do this and I am grateful for the employment that I do have.

My wise mother once told me "I make myself rich by making my wants few" and I think it is excellent advice. A non cluttered life of the basic things that you really utilize and appreciate is the first step towards the financial freedom we all seek.

Head in the clouds... again!

      Here I am, visiting my old site and it seems that time is just racing by even though I have very little that I have to do. I just reread my previous blog about Occupy Wall Street which was attended and written months ago. It motivated me to become both a political activist and a political passivist at the same time. Since I have already established myself as a bit of a social coward, I will say that much of my time is spent on my computer researching all that is going on in the world, connecting that with what has gone on in the world, and melding it with some fantastic theories of what will be in the world... and it has been quite a journey.

I have been socially engaged in petitioning for causes I fully support which includes animal rights, social justice, environment stewardship, human freedoms, women's causes... just to name a few, and my inbox is always full of requests for my support. I can give a signature and it seems insensitive not to do so when a cause I believe in comes to light. I currently don't have a job and so money is out of the question, and frankly in the near future, I don't think money is going to even matter. That is why I am such a political passivist. Both campaigns are corrupted by wasted money on their selfish causes... well, I don't think there is a good choice.

I do meditate every day, and I tend to the small plot in my community garden, and of course I live to spend those precious moments with my family.

     But I wish to share a little story about how important it is not to get caught up with all the negativity that is swirling around in both the mainstream media and the Internet alternative. There is no doubt in my mind that we are in the midst of a grand paradigm shift. I have spent hours on the Internet reading everything from the most shocking conspiracy theories to the most dogmatic rational interviews and quite frankly it becomes overwhelming.

     Mostly I am peaceful and finding an almost isolated state of grace, but one night I found myself angrily questioning my faith in "the Divine." It was the "dark night of the soul" that had left me alone for quite some time now... yet it came back with a vengeance. As Eckhart Tolle would term it ... a BIG pain body.
     The following day when I felt a bit repentant for my ill chosen thoughts, I tried meditating about peace and love on my couch, and suddenly I could feel myself being pulled away somewhere on a moving gurney. It was a familiar feeling and yet I pretended to remain asleep as I didn't want to really see what I knew I was experiencing. All I can say is that I was no longer on my couch. I was brought to an examination room where my thoughts were being viewed from a control room... much like a CT scan. I could hear a voice giving monotonous commands and so I started to think of all the loving thoughts that I could conjure. I could see in my minds eye that the screen was lighting up in a spectacular array of color, and although it was of interest to whoever was studying me, it was also an annoyance. I would not give in to fear. This went on for the good part of an hour until I became mentally fatigued and my thoughts called out..."Sweet Jesus, please help me here." A screeching voice, yelled... Who is this Jesus of who you speak... I want to meet them!" My last thought was "fat chance of that" and I awoke abruptly to the sound of my phone ringing. I was back on my couch again. 
     It was a good reminder that you do indeed create your own reality, and so I will be a little more selective in where I allow my thoughts to roam. Namaste.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Occupy Reflections

A statue of a corporate dude is the only symbol that was visible at Zuccotti Park when we arrived the morning of November 17, 2011, as if taunting the incoming protestors of the previous night's raid. A few workers garbed in pseudo haz-mat suits were steam cleaning the park as a good riddance reminder of what the mayor thinks of the Occupy ilk.
Perhaps I am a coward... as I was afraid to get a photo of the massive police force that greeted us as a blockade along the streets leading into Wall Street where the protest commenced. But we managed to sneak around the block to participate anyway.

Just as we got around the block, another small police presence arrived...ironically by the Imperial truck. There were only three of them so we slipped by.

It was light out, but even on a automatic setting my camera could sense the darkness I was experiencing. This is a police state.

The furled hem of the flag just looked like Uncle Sam's cap upon a financial building... freedom to capitalism is what I saw. I was afraid.
A shy looking woman with an excellent sign caught my attention. The protesters were of a mixed demographic.

A peace sign flag was a solace to me and because I was afraid of getting pepper sprayed or clubbed over the head for being here, I put on my best smile and marched with my fingers in a peace sign.

A simple cardboard message of why I am here. I live well... but why shouldn't everyone else as well. If one of us suffers we all do... isn't this what compassion is about?

Our vantage point... there is only one way to go, Occupy here and now.  So we did. Was it scary? Yes, it was.
Another sign lifted by someone my age that gave me solace... these are not just a bunch of angst ridden teenagers out for some anarchy... the attendees were a good sampling of the entire community... young, old, poor, affluent, black, white... all boundaries crossed and in peaceful unity. The mainstream media is wrong.
The buildings around wall street are like the cathedrals of olden times, built to intimidate and make you think that capitalism is the pinnacle of the world and somehow godly. This patriarchal aggression will not survive.

I would still like to remain the beautiful "litter" that decorates the street and bears witness to the hope of Spring in the dying. Only people, not corporations are capable of determining their own personal and collective fate. Power to the People!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Reflections on 11-11-11

Today is a very important and exciting day for me! Over the past several weeks I have been spending many hours alone in quiet reflection and meditation centering on what it means to be alive in this world and what is my purpose for being here? I have experienced many emotions and thoughts... from a peaceful and contented joy to the depths of the dark night of the soul, and though I have have no miraculous answers to my question of search, I have gained some insights regarding my own human experience.

I am at my core a divinely connected being to everything else in this world, a co-creator with Life itself. My purpose is simply to live and experience and find the joys of being connected to that wonderful something that I cannot fully understand or even talk about... but it seems to be everywhere and I shall call it Divine.
  I do not have a particular mission that must be fulfilled... it is ok to be who I am at any given point along the journey of experience, for I am a unique traveler. I look back on my life and find rich reasons for why I feel and think and emote as I do, knowing I lived to the best of my ability and so have all the other travelers who have crossed my path. There is no point in dwelling on what might have been or should have been... doing this has just led me into a state of depression. It's ok to forgive and forget.
I look to the future as an exciting doorway into the unknown, with the unfolding of an experience of ever changing choices. I have a general idea of things I'd like to accomplish, yet I don't spend too much time on the planning and striving part, as this just seems to cause anxiety and ultimate disappointment when my plans don't materialize. It's ok to go with the flow!
As I am physically in my Autumnal years I try to stay present and aware of each moment as I go through the experience of living and I am thankful for all the blessings that I have. I will often say aloud, "Everything is wonderful" and the more I say it, the more wonderful things seem to come to light. I smile and then notice the world smiling around me. When my thoughts stray to the dark side, well... that has a consequence as well, and I have no one to blame but myself for how I feel. So I have learned to stay self aware, especially with my interactions with others. My own conscience and intuition gives me clues as to how I am doing with human connections.
 Going forward I would like to speak less, listen more, give joyously of my time and talents to everyone with whom I come in contact with, and focus more on what is right with the world and less on what is wrong. I will accept all of my humaness as a gift... a colorful experience infused with the Divine spirit that connects us all. And I will continue to meditate, as it is a means of finding that inner peace.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Going Within

     I have had about enough of all the noisy clamor and distraction of the outside world. Everything is changing faster than I can process the information and I think it is now time to quiet myself and go inward. I've have tried to rejoin the external rat race after the quiet nomad adventure of the past year, but something profound happened in the deserts of New Mexico that makes it almost impossible to return to the normalcy of my former existence. Now it wasn't the spiritual awakening of meditation and healthy outdoor living that I anticipated. In contrast, the dreams of the New Mexico desert threw me down in illness and at one point lying in the heat of the Eurovan with fevers, nausea, intestinal upheaval, stabbing back pain and asthma... I could only focus on taking one more breath. Ironically, I took some of my best photos there as I arose from the pit of my despair and tried to focus on the beautiful desolation of my surroundings. I surrendered to whatever fate was in store, as I didn't think I would come out alive. But I did... and recuperated after returning to the lushness and the cool ocean breezes of the West Coast.
     There followed an urgent return home to reunite with family and re-establish a home base. I was only able to secure a one day a week teaching position and found myself with much time on my hands. The news blared disaster, there was an earthquake, a hurricane, and lots of external issues to think about... and sleepless nights thinking about them. Memories from childhood surfaced from within the dream world, some good and some not so good. Yet when I really thought about it I wasn't much changed from that lonely kindergarten student that watched the other kids play from a distant corner of the playroom and then retreated to the solitary activity of doing the puzzle of the United States throughout the entire school year. I can still see the pieces and hear my internal pronunciations of Wooming and Oreegan. I was content being a loner back then, until I learned that it was not a good way to be in the world... it was considered weird. Years were spent trying to be outgoing, interesting, successful and I realized that I was the actress that I wanted to be when I grew up.

Now it is a different game, a new playing field... as a shift in perspective has taken hold. Outwardly there will be no great metamorphosis... I will still enjoy the company of family, still shoot photos of things that interest me, read, write, knit, teach... but instead of trying to fit into a world that doesn't quite make sense any more, I will also go within through meditation and reflection and try to find some of the beauty that I see around me... from a quiet place deep within myself.