The Secret of Sexy

I am a great watcher of people and although I occasionally learn from the behavior of others , one of the greatest lessons I've learned comes from a simple comment from my husband, and then watching my behavior in comparison to that comment. You see, like most women I have gauged my own sex appeal by comparing myself to other women. It's no secret that women get a sense of sexiness from all the competition that flashes on the silver screen, the TV, the Internet and in magazines. The truth is, that when we are looking at the exterior of all that glitter and glamour to identify the sexy factor, we are completely missing the point. I suspect most men would find the the high fashion and explicit sex chat of the Sex and the City girls completely inane, and yet this show seems to be the premiere showcase for what sexiness is all about.  But I remember one time watching my husband stare at a women, who according to my calculations was about 50 lbs overweight, in sweats and a tee shirt, with her head held high, and her shoulders thrown back, marching down the street looking pleased as punch with herself. I asked, "what do you make of her"? His reply.. "she's sexy". I was stunned, but was able to meekly ask... "why is that"? "Well, look at her, she has a lot of confidence in herself." Confidence?! After a brief slow burn, I decided right then and there to check in with my confidence now and then... never really thought about that one. Sure enough, it soon became evident that the lack was there, as I started to ask him... "do you think I look fat?" Bingo! the light came on and I caught myself. Since then, I have shelved the self derogatory comments and questions about muffin tops, bunts, gut pouch, and cellulite. No more asking, "what would you like to see me wear?"... I know what I like. Admittedly, at first it was a struggle, but ultimately I have made peace with my body, my face, my personality... and quite frankly, I like me. Now when my husband tells me I look great, I refrain from past pathetic comments, like "your just saying that.." and I proudly respond..."damn right I do!" So what if it sounds a little cocky... the results of my new attitude have been worth the effort.