A Poor Me Day

Do you ever get one of those days when nothing is really wrong but you feel sad, lonely, and utterly useless. Maybe it's my age, or this new onset of insomnia... or just maybe I always felt this way and just never admitted it to myself. God, forbid anyone should tag you as a "poor me"... a really horrible insult... and so you force yourself to shake it off and get cheerful and stuff those hidden insecurities away in the glovebox and go about your business. TV makes the hidden feelings worse, as you see all the beautiful and successful people getting accolades for all their many talents, when you sit there in the realization that you don't even have one damned thing that you excel at. Athletes are suddenly best dancers, actors become best selling authors, and even cooks get talk shows and meet all the famous people. Doesn't seem fair that most of us shlubs have spent years trying to find a niche where we can say with certainty..."yes, I've successfully arrived," only to find that you've arrived at the door of the Ordinary Hall of Non-fame and your best years are behind you. Maybe it's because we grew up believing parents who promised that we could be anything we wanted and challenged us to "be somebody." On the other hand you might have had parents who spew negativity saying, "you'll never amount to much, get over yourself." In either case there comes a time when you have to admit to dreams that never came true, and probably never will, and say "WTF... not fair... poor me." So today I say that out loud to myself, no shame, no apology... just an honest sentiment that got tired of hiding.