A Necessary Intrusion

Our house has been on the market since May, and although many people have come through to view our labor of love, to date we have not had any serious offers. With the economy in a tailspin, this is probably the worst market to try and sell a 100 year old Victorian micro mansion. So when I received a call at noon today that a local realtor would like to show my house, naturally I was excited. However once he stated that the only time he and his clients could make the viewing was at 1 PM today, my excitement quickly turned to panic. I was having one of those lazy days, when the breakfast dishes were scattered about and last night's pot was still soaking in the sink. Otis my rabbit, had one of his little tantrums and had managed to scatter his litter and droppings all over the kitchen floor. He also pulled apart a napkin that didn't quite make its way to the garbage can. I had been simmering a pot of navy beans on the stove with some chipotle peppers, and although my enchiladas will be delicious later, that beany pungent smell would probably not be that enticing to most people. With as much enthusiasm as I could muster, I told the realtor it would be just fine to come at 1 PM. As soon as I hung up the phone I flew into action. Otis's Italian designer cage was cleaned and he was quickly put into it. I scrubbed the pot and unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, throwing anything that looked dusty in as well. Two vacuum cleaners were pulled out of their hiding places and the litter and the napkin were sucked up into the hand held one, followed by an overall cleaning with the upright. I then continued my frantic vacuuming into the dining room, TV room, living room and foyer and then both vacuums were stowed away in the front hall closet. Next priority was grabbing a plastic bag where garbage cans from 4 floors of the house were emptied and then it was stored in the basement. While there, I put  in a load of laundry that was lying on the floor and then raced up two flights of stairs to check the state of the master bedroom. All the creams, potions and makeup that littered my dresser were thrown into a basket in the closet. A quick wipe of the dressers with a sleeve was all I could spare, and I opened the window to air out the room. Luckily the bed was already made and so I dashed into the bathroom to do a quick polish of the sink and tub, and hid some fern droppings under the bathmat. A second floor office needed the iron and ironing board to be hid in a closet, and the guest bedroom only needed the lights to be flicked on. Sweating and panting I flew up to the third floor and hid my mystical tools in the meditation room, turned on all the lights in the two bedrooms, bathroom, and closets, and sprayed some air freshener around. Like lightening, I flew down to the first floor and put out the brochures and realty calling cards on the dining room table, hid the stacked up mail that was strewn over the table, and dashed to turn all first floor lights on. I had only enough time to sweep the back porch when I heard a knock at the door at 12:4o. I was met by the realtor and a delightful young couple who apologized for their early arrival. Oh well.. it is what it is. I sat on the front porch, breathing heavily and secretly hoping they would be the final takers of the house. Only a quick 10 minutes later they were gone, after making the usual comment that the house was so tastefully appointed ( which has come to mean, it is not really what we are looking for). So now I am completely exhausted and I'm currently cracking a beer to help alleviate the stress. My work is done here.