My Money Laundering Scheme

As a women without a job, I can tell you that finances are a little tight right now..especially when it comes to my own petty cash. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and so I am admitting guilt to my crime. My only victims at this point are my husband and son, but I have been rewarded handsomely with their inattention to financial detail. My husband is a money stuffer when it comes to certain purchases. The crumpled change will go into one of his pants pockets, as he is joking or flirting with the cashier. As he also is a clothes dropper and I am the picker upper, this makes my work easy. The clothes go into the hamper (I do check pockets for the wallet as I am not that interested in his credit cards or license), I gather them into the laundry basket and then ask if he will carry it down two flights of stairs to the basement. In this way I give him another chance to check his own pockets, so I'm really not that evil about it. Once they are in the basement it is my domain. I don't check the pockets directly before they go into the washing machine because I really do like clean money. Sometimes I am rewarded after the spin cycle with wet money that I carefully dry before it is slipped into my own wallet. More often than not, I get my payload after the drying cycle, which saves me some time. I have to be careful  because if the money is folded and dried, it could be mistaken for lint and thrown into the trash. There are dangers at work here. My son's contribution to my account is never in cash dollars because as a mother I have principles. His pockets are usually carrying various nuts, bolts and small tools that often give the dryer a headache, but the jangling also includes change that goes into my kitty. He thinks I am just being nice by offering to do his laundry so often. That change, added to what is found at the bottom of my pocketbook, along with my husband's pockets gives me a quarterly return of about $74. The larger bills are less frequent than the change, but yesterday I hit bingo with a $20 reward. Not bad work for a woman who almost didn't pass a finance class in grad school because her motto was, "money just comes."