Getting to Publish

Over the past few years I have on again off again been interested in writing my memoir of growing up in the 60's. It was a turbulent time for the country, and also for my family. I have recorded pages of memory which I try to recreate in the voice of the child that is telling the story. Sometimes the memories flow freely and I could write volumes. At other times a particularly painful memory (or hint at one) gets blocked and I tend to abandon the project for a while. It's not that my childhood was any more difficult than anyone else's, but I am trying to make all these memories come together in triumph for molding me into who I am. I steer away from whining about how hard things were as opinion, and instead focus on storytelling a tale that it unique to my family. The hardest part is trying to get the dialogue right and that is probably where my own perception instead of an accurate representation will appear. I thought I was near completion and had enough material to complete a book. Luckily there are great web-sites that tell you the steps you need to take to do just that. Most agents who will represent you in finding a publisher will want to know how many words you have. So yesterday I downloaded an application that counts the words in the document for you ( I know Microsoft does this for you, but I use Text Editor on my Mac and it doesn't). According to my research most novels are between 80,000 and 100,000 words. Hmm, so far I only have a mere 29,000.   I'm wondering if I should go ahead and send a query to an agent to see if they would be interested, or just go back to the drawing board and get the job done. Since rejection may be part process in getting an agent, my first thought is to keep writing and put it off. On second thought, why spend all that time writing something no one would want to read anyway. Perhaps I can find a web-site where they will pay me to share my story. Decisions, decisions... it feels like a good day to procrastinate.