Is Everything Broken?

I came home from my new job feeling a little uneasy... the lyrics from a Bob Dylan song wafting through my head... everything is broken... Well when it comes to the healthcare delivery system within the walls of the stone- hinged hospital, it seems to be. The walls and decor are most cheerfully decorated, the lab coated personnel walk confidently and sure-footed to their next task on a multi-list of ever changing priorities... the codes of multi-colored disaster blare over the loud-speaker ( everyone's eyes bely the terror... someone is violent, another is not breathing, a child has just died) and yet only the bodies act as if nothing significant is occurring. Sometimes you have to remain distant from the the occurrences so you can methodically react as if by rote, but everyone on the inside feels the tension of human demise, and only the brave comment about the carnage of a life awry. I watch as the psyche of my peers, try to carry on as if it was all a matter of routine... scurrying, shouting orders and demands... mostly,  "where is the chart," and, "who is this?" So much complexity within these walls, so much stupid paperwork, and IT screens that don't mean a thing. The truly hardened will not even meet you in hello, just a brief look of importance and a sniff in the air... some of these professionals I knew years ago when they were kind... they don't seem to remember. It's the future shock of a world gone too complex in a hurry and most of the caregivers are just trying to stay relevant... forgetting why they became healthcare workers in the first place. It won't deter my mission, I can learn the skills, the techniques, the computer stuff ... it's the compassion that I don't want to lose in the terror of all the complexity. I can't change the system or the the people who strive to conquer the impossible...I just want a chance to try to do my best and not lose myself in the things that really don't matter. Today was a tough day... tomorrow I will try to smile a little more.